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Story Or Series Title: Seeking Refuge
Fandom: lord of the rings
Culprit Author's Name: whitedino
Full Name (plus titles if any): Rebecca
Full Species(es): Supposedly Human, lives on the edge of Bree in middle earth
Hair Color (include adjectives): Tangled, filth ridden, ebony
Eye Color (include adjectives): 'nearly matched the greenary that surrounded [her]
Unusual Markings/Colorations: none
Special Possessions (if any): A Little Brother
Annoying Origin: Wicked stepfather beat her, someplace near Bree
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Living in a world that jacked the name of their canonical world. And the names of its places.
Annoying Special Abilities: Crying, swooning, good judge of character
Other Annoying Traits: She was beaten. And knows lots of handy people.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Kill me now.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. It belongs to Tolkien. Brownies for spelling… Although Tony, Rebecca, Grettal Wayside, and Hillander are my characters. And the suethor immediately loses brownies for heinous naming of OC’s.

Authors’ note: This is my first Lord of The Rings fanfiction. This is not a mary sue in any shape, form, or fashion because, for it to be offensively malignant, you would actually have to capitalise the title. Try it with me: Mary Sue. Please read and review!!!1

“You’ll never be anything! YOU ARE USELESS!” An angry voice screamed at her. An eleven year old girl EL: realized it was the Voice of GOD and hanged herself in shame cowered away in fear and doing so merely evoked her stepfather to strike her. A loud, resonating slap echoed around the dirty, ramshackle hut that her family called home. She fell to the floor in a heap EL: as opposed to a pile, crying. Her little brother, only five years of age, was cringing in a corner watching the scene wide eyed with tears streaking down his chubby little cheeks as he realized that, not only was his sister a blatant Mary Sue, but also that he had just been subjected to a miserable run-on sentence. His tears left little rivulets that cleaned away the sparkles grime that caked his face. Her mother began shouting at him to leave her alone because she, too, was a Sue.

Snip! Description of little brother climbing onto Sue and sobbing into her filth ridden, ebony hair.

Her family farmed for a living outside the town of Bree in middle earth (A subsidiary of Middle-earth). Unfortunately, the land had recently experienced a horrible drought that caused the Sue to become horribly emaciated and thirsty her family’s small plot of crops to be completely devastated because of their Mary-Sue mistresses’ horrible habit of stealing their water to de-filth her ebony hair. They were on the verge of starvation.

Snip! Description of abuse patterns. Sue and brother walk to Grettal’s house. Sue and brother hide in tent. Suethor launches into a description of the elves (lesser cousins of Eves) because Grettal is going to tell them a story.

It was about the elves that lived in a faraway place called Valinor, far from filthy human Sues where the air was clean, the water was pure, and the trees were the lushest green ever seen, as well as numerous assonances. The elves were immortal and the fairest race in all of middle earth. They had powers that no one else possessed, powers of healing and of foresight. They could tell if you were sensing the truth or not. EL: Because if you weren’t sensing it out, they’d send out an elfish bloodhound And they were, from what Grettal described, very close to nature. Rumor had it that they could smell you from miles away and that the trees were their friends and would whisper secrets to them and they had weird rules for spelling and grammar and all of them get broken and by the creators of people like Becka and it happens like every day.

The tale continued long into the afternoon until dusk was nearly upon them because Grettal had a speech impediment and repeated every fourth word with times. Rebecca and Tony thanked Grettal for the tale and wished her farewell before starting the long trek back home.

The sun had almost disappeared over the horizon and darkness seeped over the land like a bad pudding.

Snip! Sue and brother walk home and hear screaming. Sue and brother see Mummy’s body somehoe break through the door of their cottage. Sue and brother see wicked Stepfather kick body all the way to Bree.

Fortunately, they were not noticed and the rustling in the bushes was mistaken for the soft, warm summer night’s breeze that drifted through the country side. EL: As opposed to the country knee.

Some chapters later… Sue and brother flee from stepfather, meet a Mrs Wayside and get lost. Then found.

The man stood for a moment studying them before pulling his hood off and revealing his face. It was weather worn but young and covered with acne. He had shoulder length auburn hair and light brown eyes which Tony took to mean that he was also a Stu, and thus must be annihilated. By the look of his travel worn clothing, this man was quite used to traveling. EL: Or he bought them in the thrift section of the Gap of Rohan.

“Who are you?”

“I am Thomias, Ranger of the second guard at your service milady.” EL: Errrmm… Exactly what does this mean: ‘service milady’? It sounds like something that would set JRR rolling in his thrice blessed grave. He bowed courteously to them and smiled brightly, blinding Rebecca.

“Charmed, I’m sure,” Rebecca sarcastically quipped. EL: Because she could be nothing less than chipper and sarcastic.

“I simply noticed that the two of you are in need of some help.”

“And what, pray, gave you that idea?”

“It’s apparent that you haven’t had much to eat in days. And you are barely able to stand!” Thomias stated with genuine concern.

“You are not far from the truth, I’ll give you that, and some service besides! Why do you want to help us?”

Because, in reality, I am Greg, lord of the Sue Killers (a league of highly trained Southron rangers) and have been sent to annihilate you.”

Thomias looked hurt after that question.

“Because I never like to see children going hungry or running as if a pack of snarling beasts were snapping at their very heels.”

“What is it you want?”

A dagger for your brother so he can kill you while you sleep. To help you of course!” EL: And to see how many exclamatory sentences I can make.

“That is very kind and generous, sir. But my brother and I are on our own errand.”

Curiosity sparked within the man’s eyes and he regarded her with open compassion.

“If you wish it I can take the two of you to wherever it is that you are going.”

“Thank you for offering but my mother told me never to hitch-hike.”

An old pain resurfaced at her mother’s memory and she soon found it difficult to breath because Thomias had just stabbed her in the back.

Thomias glanced away lost in thought before reaching a conclusion. He would wait until the dead of night and, when he was to be on guard, sneak off to find all the members of the first and second guards, as well as Legolas and Haldir, return and have them watch Tony strangle her with a twig.

“At least allow me to be your guide for the remainder of your journey!”

“But don’t you have other important things to do than help us?”

“Not at the moment. I just finished one of my missions for the guard and was granted a three day reprieve. I know this area well and it will be no trouble at all!”

Rebecca was an idiot good judge of character and what she saw in this man was true kindness and honesty. This was because Thomias had spent three years in Morgoth’s Academy for Fine Sue Killers. She knew that the road would be a more dangerous route during the day, increasing the chances of being discovered by possible search parties.

Snip! Sue and brother join Thomias the Sue Killer. I mean ranger. Then they go to Hobbiton, where they meet an amazingly humanlike Hobbit named Ms Appletree, who forks over some cash and sends them away. Then dispatches several other Hobbit impersonators to follow the Sue and, when the time is right… guide her to the Sue Killer.


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